


It's Okay To Cry

by Croc9400



Series: When Alec Met Magnus (Celebrity Magnus AU) [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Celebrity! Magnus, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Men Crying, Protective Magnus Bane, Teacher! Alec, implied/referenced gun use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22706245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croc9400/pseuds/Croc9400
Summary: Alec isn't one to be very open with his emotions, but he knows with Magnus he is free to cry whenever needed***Or, five times Alec cries and one time they both cry
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: When Alec Met Magnus (Celebrity Magnus AU) [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480646
Comments: 15
Kudos: 231





	It's Okay To Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all wanted angst, so here it is. This ended up being WAY longer than I thought it was going to be (and is now the longest 5+1 in this series and the second longest story in this series) and also took me way longer. I know it may not seem like it took me very long, but I worked on this for at least two hours a day every day since I finished A Day To Remember. The reason this ended up being longer (and the reason I write Alec more than Magnus) is because I relate to Alec so much, I always have. It is just so much easier for me to write him because all I have to do to figure out what Alec would do in a situation is to ask what I would do in the situation which makes writing him so much easier.  
> That being said, I do have a story planned out (and will probably be the next one I finish) that'll will basically be a mirror of this but centered around Magnus and times Magnus had broken down with Alec.  
> That is on top of the Max story that I am starting to dig into.  
> Hope you enjoy!

_One_

The moment was heated when Alec froze. 

They were making out in bed and Magnus was on top of him, resting lightly in his lap. Magnus was stripped down to his underwear and Alec only down to his pants. Magnus put more of his weight on his boyfriend as he leaned forward to kiss him. His hands ran over Alec’s chest and up his arms before gripping his wrists and pinning them above his head. 

That’s when Alec froze. When he realized that Magnus was pinning him down. 

“Oatmeal!” Alec yelled quickly, scrambling to get out from underneath his boyfriend. Magnus quickly got off of him and sat back on the bed, freaked as this was the first time either of them had had to use their safeword. Alec quickly stood up off the bed, taking in deep breaths as he rubbed his eyes, trying to keep himself from crying. 

“Alexander,” Magnus said softly, scooting closer to the edge of the bed Alec was standing near. Alec was standing with his back to his boyfriend, “are you okay?” 

Alec put his hand up, indicating for his boyfriend to give him a moment. Alec took a shaky breath in before he sat back down on the bed. Magnus scooted to sit next to him but took care not to touch him. 

“What’s wrong, darling?” Magnus asked, leaning forward to look at his boyfriend. Alec’s face was red and there were tears pooling in his eyes, threatening to spill over. In there over a year together, Magnus had only seen his boyfriend cry one other time and that had only been a month ago. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec mumbled, taking a deep breath in and wiping his eyes.

“No, don’t apologize, darling,” Magnus said softly, wanting so badly to take his boyfriend into his arms but not knowing if that would make the situation worse. 

“No, it’s stupid,” Alec said, sniffling again and wiping the tears that he had no control over that kept spilling out of his eyes. 

“I promise you, it’s not,” Magnus said, “what is it?” 

“There’s, uh, there’s a reason I’ve, that I’ve taken...control from the beginning when it came to our sex lives,” Alec said softly, folding his hands in his lap. Magnus tentatively reached out and placed a hand on top of Alec’s folded ones. When he didn’t flinch, Magnus moved a bit closer. 

“And it’s so stupid,” Alec laughed a little. 

“Alexander, please, whatever it is, it’s not stupid,” Magnus squeezed his hands a little, “please, tell me,” 

“Remember that guy I told you about?” Alec asked, “the one who was my best friend in high school?” 

“Raj?” Magnus asked. 

“Yeah,” Alec replied. 

“Didn’t he end high school hating you?” 

“And I hated him,” Alec sighed, “he fucked me up so much,”

“He didn’t…” Magnus began, but he didn’t want to finish the thought in fear it would be true. 

“No he didn’t...he never did anything physical to me,” Alec replied, “but he was in love with me. Deeply. He didn’t admit it when I confronted him about it but literally everyone else in the school knew and told me. After I found that out it just put me even more on edge throughout the remainder of our friendship,”

“When did you confront him?” Magnus asked. 

“Around the middle of junior year,” Alec replied, “and we stopped talking like three months before the end of senior year,” 

Magnus nodded, looking at his boyfriend who was still staring at their joined hands in his lap. 

“And you know how he played with my emotions, how he would manipulate me to feel things for him,” Alec continued. Magnus nodded, “how he would take advantage of my empathy,”

“Yeah,” Magnus said. Alec had mentioned that before and that he was the main reason why Alec was so reserved with his emotions. It was why he hadn’t cried in front of Magnus for almost a year. Everything Alec had felt had been a game for Raj to exploit and Magnus wanted to kill him for it. 

“At that point, Raj was out and I wasn’t. I was too scared it would get back to my parents when I was in high school so I didn’t come out til I was out of that house, so that was one part of the whole situation. Because he knew about me...because I trusted him with that,” Alec said, “and he would always talk about how he was a top. Always. Anytime anything vaguely sexual came up or the opportunity for a sex joke presented itself, he would bring it up,”

“That’s a little creepy and gross,” Magnus commented. 

“I didn’t think much of it until I really took a step back and realized the nature of our relationship,” Alec replied, “when I realized how much power he had over me...once I realized that he loved to have power over me that’s when I knew he thought about dominating me physically all the time. Even after we stopped talking I’d see him undressing me in his head,” 

Magnus nodded as Alec’s breath shook. He wrapped his other arm around Alec and pulled him close, letting his boyfriend rest his head on his shoulder. 

“I used to bottom,” Alec said softly, “or, the thought of it turned me on way more than topping, cause I didn’t have a sex life in high school. I was really into the idea of being submissive to someone but then after I realized what he must’ve been thinking about me...it just repulsed me. I didn’t want anyone to have that kind of power over me again, and I knew if I let the emotional power get mixed in with that kind of power then I just...I don’t want to think about what would happen to me,”

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus wrapped his other arm around him and pulled him close, “I’m so sorry, darling,” 

“No, it’s fine. It literally happened like, eight years ago,” Alec said, “I told you it was stupid,”

“It’s not, its affected you,” Magnus said, “it doesn’t matter how long ago it was,” 

“I’m sorry I ruined the mood,” Alec muttered, “but I don’t really feel like doing anything else tonight,”

“No, don’t apologize for that at all,” Magnus sighed, “I’m sorry I pinned you down,”

“Oh god, Magnus, don’t apologize for that,” Alec’s head shot up off his shoulder, “you had no way of knowing. That’s not your fault,” 

“I still feel bad,” he said. 

“Please don’t,” Alec let his hand cup Magnus’ face, “I’ve been trying to work through it. I want to...I want to try stuff like that with you,”

“If you really want to,” Magnus said after a moment, “if you don’t, then we won’t,” 

“I think I want to,” Alec said, pressing their foreheads together, “I trust you, Magnus,”

“I trust you too,” Magnus said, “you’re beautifully strong, darling. I love you,” 

“I love you too,”

***

_Two_

Magnus was pacing his loft with a drink in his hand. Every creak he heard his head shot up to the elevator, thinking his boyfriend was back. He had texted him earlier telling him that he was fine and was coming home soon, but he couldn’t help but worry after Alec had hung up on him. 

It was moments like this where he hated his fame. Moments where he was prevented from leaving the house because paparazzi would follow him where he went, including Alec’s family’s estate. Because of his life, he couldn’t be with his boyfriend when he needed him the most. He wasn’t with his boyfriend when he came out to his parents. 

Then the telltale sound of the elevator gears turning got his attention. He stopped pacing and faced the elevator, taking a sip of his drink as it slowly made its way up to the loft. He leaned against the dining room table cursing the elevator, as it seemed to be moving slower than usual. When he finally heard the ding from inside the elevator and the door began to open, he placed his drink down on the table. He took a few steps towards the elevator and froze when he met Alec’s eyes. Alec froze too, just looking at his boyfriend before surging forward and pulling him into a tight hug. 

“God, Alexander,” Magnus held him tightly, “are you okay?” 

“I don’t know,” Alec choked out after a moment. Magnus could tell he was crying, but didn’t draw attention to it. He just held his boyfriend as tightly as he held him. 

“Let’s sit,” Magnus said, keeping his arm around Alec’s waist as they moved to the couch, “do you want a drink?”

“I shouldn’t,” Alec replied as he sat, “maybe some water though,”

“Of course,” Magnus said, pressing a kiss to Alec’s head before going towards the kitchen. On his way, he grabbed his drink and downed the rest of it before getting Alec a glass of water. He returned to the couch and sat next to him, handing him the water before wiping the stray tears from his face. 

“Thanks,” Alec said, taking a sip before resting it on the coffee table. 

“So what happened?” Magnus asked after a moment of silence. 

“I came out to my parents,” Alec sighed, “my mother, she was...she was shocked but she was good after I got back. She kicked my father out. We had a nice conversation. She wants to meet you,”

“Got back? Where did you go?” Magnus asked. 

“My father came after me,” Alec told him, “I ran,” 

“Just ran away?” Magnus asked. 

“Yeah,” Alec nodded, “he was angry. It was like I was a kid again. I really thought he was gonna-”

Alec cut himself off before he could finish his thought. 

“Darling?” Magnus asked, taking his hand, “what did...what did you think he was gonna do?”

Alec took a shaky breath in before wiping a few more tears from his eyes. He looked Magnus in the eye and they both knew the answer to Magnus’ question and there was no going back now. Magnus knew his darkest secret and he was surprisingly okay with that. He squeezed Magnus’ hand as if it was his lifeline. 

“Don’t make me say it,” Alec said softly. Never had Magnus seen his boyfriend so broken, but he knew what he was trying to say. Robert Lightwood had hit him. 

“Whenever I failed at something,” Alec looked back down into his lap, “my mother would just tell me I was a disappointment and leave it at that but my father...he took is a step further,”

“That’s why you paid the extra money to live at school when you could’ve commuted,” Magnus put it all together. Alec was still in a substantial bit of debt from college, much of which was caused by the room and board expenses he endured until he moved off campus. 

“Yeah, I needed to get out of there,” Alec said, “but...I needed to be close enough for Max. That’s why I didn’t leave the city,” 

“Did your father…?” Magnus began. 

“He never laid a finger on them,” Alec replied, “I made sure of it. And please don’t call him my father,”

“Right, I’m sorry,” Magnus said. 

“That’s why I needed to make sure Max had a place to stay. He’d never touch Izzy and he didn’t care about Jace all that much,” Alex explained, “I just needed Max to know he had a place to be where he was safe,” 

“Do any of them know?” Magnus asked. 

“No,” Alec replied, “you’re the only one who knows. And I’d like to keep it that way,”

“Of course, darling,” Magnus assured him, rubbing his back, “Alexander, you truly are the bravest-”

“Magnus, please don’t start,” Alec said, “I’m not. I’m really not,”

“Alexander, you really are-”

“No! Magnus!” Alec yelled as he got up off the couch, “for years! Years! I let him hit me whenever it damn well pleased him and I did nothing! Absolutely fucking nothing! I could’ve rid me, my siblings, and my mother of all the bullshit that he put us through after the first time he did it but I was so much of a fucking whimp and I was so goddamn scared of him that I didn’t!” 

Magnus got up and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend as he continued yelling. As he finished, he broke down into tears in Magnus’ arms as he just held them. 

“You’re okay, darling,” Magnus said in his ear as he ran his hand through Alec’s hair while he sobbed in his arms, “you’re okay,” 

And that’s how they spent the rest of their evening. Alec sat in Magnus’ arms, an occasional tear slipping from his eye. They took a bath before changing into sweats and curling up together and watching a movie before falling asleep in each other’s arms. 

***

_Three_

Alec really hated the internet. 

Well, that was a lie. He loved the free flow of information and how he could be connected with people from all other the world. He loved that he was able to use social media to see what his siblings and friends were up to and was especially glad he had unlimited access to photos of his fiance. 

What he didn’t like was, well, everything else. Particularly all the people who were now overly interested in his life and his relationship. 

Even before they’d come out to the public Magnus had warned him to not let what he saw online get to him. Since then, he’d been even more adamant about that and Alec usually listened. Today was not one of those days. 

Izzy had sent him the link of a very sweet article about his and Magnus’ relationship. The article had talked a bit about him, but it was mostly a compilation of everything sweet Magnus had said about him publicly since they had started dating. At the end of that article however, were links to slightly more cynical articles and even though he knew that he shouldn’t have, he clicked on them anyway. 

The first one called him a gold digger, which was pretty common. It was the thing that he heard the most often and he wasn’t necessarily used but it stung less than what he read afterwards. The next article he read called him a gold digger and a whore, and one went as far as to say that he was abusing and controlling Magnus. 

Then there were the comments. 

There were many comments on those articles of people defending their relationship, and though there weren’t more negative comments, those were the ones that Alec was drawn to. He read the comments that were agreeing with the article and others that went further than the article could. Comments telling him that doesn’t deserve Magnus, that Magnus should break up with. Others that told him to go and kill himself and others that threatened to do that themselves. 

Alec didn’t realize he was crying until the tears dripped down onto his pants. He wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming. There was a sinking feeling in his gut and though he knew these people on the internet shouldn’t mean anything to him the words still echoed in his head making his the pit in his stomach grow. 

“Alexander?” 

Alec dropped his phone and his head shot up as he saw Magnus standing in the doorway. Magnus had a bag and a bouquet of flowers in his hands and his other was still on the doorknob. 

“Alexander, what’s wrong, darling?” Magnus said, quickly shutting the door and dropping the bag and flowers on the coffee table before sitting beside him. Alec quickly wiped his tears and turned off his phone. 

“It’s nothing,” Alec said quickly, frantically trying to save face He tried to sneakily hide his phone under his leg so Mangus wouldn’t suspect what he was doing, “I’m fine,”

“Bullshit,” Magnus said simply before reaching under Alec’s leg and pulling out his phone. Alec tried to protest and grab it but Magnus held the phone out of his reach, unlocking it quickly and looking at what came up on the screen. He sighed when he saw what his fiance had been reading. 

“Darling, you know I told you not to-”

“I know! I know you told me not to fucking read them!” Alec yelled, “but I couldn’t help myself,”

“I understand,” Magnus said softly, closing the article and clearing his browser history so he couldn’t go back and find them later. He put his phone on the side table before pulling Alec close to him. 

“You know everything you read is untrue, right?” Magnus said softly, placing a kiss on Alec’s temple, “I know you’re with me for me. I love you, I’m never going to leave you, okay, darling?”

“I know,” Alec mumbled, turning his head so he could kiss his fiance. Magnus was happy to oblige, shifting himself so Alec was slightly more comfortable as he kissed. 

“I brought you flowers,” Magnus said softly, pressing small kisses along his cheek. 

“I saw that,” Alec smiled, “and you used the front door,”

“Every once in a while I gotta show the world how much I love you,” Magnus said softly before kissing him again, “I also stopped at a bakery and got us some cake. I was gonna say we eat it after dinner but I kinda wanna have it now,”

“Me too,” Alec smiled. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Magnus asked. 

“Sure,” Alec replied. 

“Okay, I’m gonna change,” Magnus said, kissing Alec quick before getting up, “could you get plates and make us drinks?”

“Yeah,” Alec stood as well, grabbing the flowers and the bag from the table and moved to the kitchen. He got a vase from the cabinet and put the flowers in before filling it. He took the cake from the bag and cut them two slices before going back into the living room and placing them on the coffee table. He was shaking their drinks when Magnus came back into the room. 

“Aren’t you a sight?” Magnus sighed, leaning against the wall. Alec chuckled before making an extra little show with the final few shakes. He poured out their drinks as Magnus came up and wrapped his arms around him and began nibbling at his neck. 

“You keep doing that we’re not gonna make it through the movie,” Alec commented. 

“Mmm, I don’t wanna,” Magnus mumbled, beginning to suck at his neck. 

“Don’t you want to eat the cake you bought?” Alec asked. 

“I’d rather eat you,” Magnus bit down, causing a breathy moan to escape Alec’s mouth. 

“How about eating off of me?” Alec offered.

“Oh,” Magnus’ voice was low as his movements stopped, “yeah, I’d like that very much,” 

And that was just the beginning of a very long night in which Magnus made sure that Alec knew that not everything he read on the internet was true. 

***

_Four_

“Can we stay here forever?” Alec asked, looking out at the ocean. They were sitting on the back porch of their bungalow in Bali, staring out at the crystal blue water as the sun shined down on them. 

“I wish we could,” Magnus sighed, “maybe we’ll retire here,” 

“Life isn’t gonna be any fun when we’re old though,” Alec whined. 

“What do you mean?” Magnus laughed a little, “you think we’re gonna get boring?”

“I’m gonna end up pulling a muscle trying to fuck you,” Alec grumbled. Magnus burst out laughing. 

“I’m glad that’s your only concern about old age,” Magnus laughed. Alec was about to say something else when his phone started ringing. 

“One second,” Alec pulled his phone from his pocket, “hello,”

“Hey, what’s up, man?” Max asked. 

“Hey Max,” Alec smiled, “everything’s good. We’re just pouting about the fact that we have to come home tomorrow,”

“Yeah, speaking of that,” Max paused, “are you guys free any night after you get back?”

“I mean, I’m free all the time now,” Alec replied before turning to his husband, “Magnus, are you free anytime this week?”

“I’m booked almost every second for the next two weeks at least,” Magnus replied, “why?”

“Yeah, why?” Alec said to Max. 

“Oh, well, we wanted to tell you what happened at the reception,” Max replied, “I was gonna have all you guys over,”

“Oh,” Alec looked at Magnus who gave him a questioning look. He took the phone away from his ear, “they want to tell us what happened at the reception,”

“Oh!” Magnus’ expression changed, “you can go without me, darling. If you wait for me, we might not find out for another month,”

“You sure?” Alec asked. 

“Yeah,” Magnus replied, “I’ve been just as curious as you have been,”

Alec laughed before putting the phone back up to his ear, “alright Magnus is busy so I’m just gonna come,”

“Oh, okay,” Max replied, “does Wednesday work?”

“Yeah,” Alec replied. 

“Great, see you then,” Max said. 

“See ya,” 

+++

“So, how long are we going to sit here staring at each other before you tell me what happened?” Alec asked, staring at his family all sitting around Max’s dining table. They’d been together for nearly two hours, finished eating a little less than an hour ago, and Alec had finished talking about his honeymoon before they’d finished eating. He met his mother’s eye from the other head of the table. Izzy sat next to her and Jace and Max sat on either side of him. 

“You sure you don’t want to finish your drink?” Izzy asked. 

“Are you trying to get me drunk before you tell me?” Alec asked, making a point to put his drink down on the table. 

“Maybe a little buzzed,” Jace shrugged. Izzy slapped his arm from her spot next to him, “what? Was I supposed to lie?” 

Maryse sighed and set her own drink down on the table. 

“Well,” he said, “spit it out,” 

“Your father showed up at your wedding,” Maryse sighed. 

“What?” Alec’s voice was barely audible, “how did he even…?”

“He paid your cousins to give him the information,” Maryse replied. Alec’s fists clenched on the table. 

“It’s not their fault,” Izzy said quickly, “it was enough money to pay off all their debts. Who in their right mind would refuse that?”

“And they didn’t know the gravity of the situation,” Jace continued. 

“What gravity?” Alec asked. He knew his family didn’t know what his father had done to him, so how could they possibly know what was weighing in his mind right now. 

“Jace!” Izzy hissed again. 

“What. Gravity?” Alec repeated through clenched teeth, “what are you not telling me?” 

Max sighed and folded his hands, looking between Alec and his mother. 

“Max, don’t,” Maryse said softly, almost pleadingly. It was an empty plea, however as Max was and always would be more loyal to Alec than his mother. 

“Max,” Alec looked his brother dead in the eye. 

“He had a gun,” Max said before he looked away. 

“WHAT?!” Alec stood up quickly from the table, hitting and moving it in the process, causing his whole family to jump.

“Alec, calm down, please,” Max said, standing in front of his brother. 

“Calm-calm down?!” Alec yelled, “you just told me Robert showed up to my wedding with a fucking gun and you expect me to be calm?!”

“This is why we wanted Magnus here,” Jace commented. 

“You think if Magnus was here he wouldn’t be just as angry?!” Alec yelled, “hell, he’d be more angry than I am,”

“Alec, please,” Maryse stood and walked over to him, “take a deep breath,”

Alec did as instructed, taking one semi-calming breath before looking at his mother, “where is he now?”

“We don’t know,” Maryse replied honestly, “there were some pretty substantial threats through his way so we think he fled,”

“What happened?” Alec asked, “I want the whole story. Now,” 

Max sighed before sitting down, “please sit down, Alec,”

Alec said nothing before taking his seat again. The rest of his family sat back down before he took a big sip of his drink. 

“Talk,” Alec ordered. Max forgot how to speak for a moment, having never seen his brother this angry, let alone with that anger being directed at him. He knew that Alec wasn’t truly mad at him, he was just the closest living person that the anger could be directed to. 

“Max,” Alec snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“Right, sorry,” he said, “security found Cat and I just after you finished dancing and told us that Robert was there, demanding to see us,”

“He wanted to see you guys or he wanted to see me?” Alec asked. 

“He, um…” Max looked across the table at his siblings. 

“Don’t lie to me!” Alec slammed his fist on the table, causing everyone to jump. 

“Alec, maybe we should wait until Magnus can be here,” Maryse said gently. 

“No!” Alec said firmly, “tell me the whole truth now,”

Max sighed, “I’m sorry I just don’t want you to be more upset than you already are,”

“Nothing is going to make me more upset unless you lie to me,” Alec explained, “now continue,”

“Right so he showed up asking for you and Magnus. We weren’t going to let you guys talk to him so we went out,” Max continued. 

“You went out there with him when he had a gun!?” Alec nearly yelled. 

“We didn’t know he was armed at the time!” Max replied, “that’s when I came and got mom. We went into the room that security was able to confine him too. It was me, Cat, Raphael, Ragnor, Jace, Izzy, and mom. Cat and I thought if we all went it might scare him into going away,”

“I’ll take it that didn’t work,” Alec said, deep-seated anger in his voice. 

“No,” Max said, “we all went in and he demanded to see you guys. We kept asking why and he wouldn’t tell us,”

“He wanted to kill me,” Alec said without looking up. 

“He’s lost it. He’s not mentally stable,” Maryse replied, “I won’t defend him, but I can tell you since I filed for divorce I’ve seen him slowly losing it. He’s unhinged. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it earlier. I could’ve prevented this,”

“Mom, stop,” Alec said, “anything that he’s done or will do is not your fault,”

“And nothing happened, so no harm done,” Izzy commented. 

“Keep going, Max,” Alec instructed, “how did you get him to leave?” 

“We were threatening to call the police,” Max sighed, “and that’s when he pulled a gun on me,”

“HE PULLED A GUN ON YOU!?” Alec yelled, “I’ll kill him, I’ll fucking kill him. I’ll hunt him down and kill him,” 

“Nothing happened, I’m fine,” Max assured him. 

“And we’re working on a restraining order for all of us,” Maryse said. 

“How did you get away from him?” Alec said through gritted teeth. 

“I stepped in front of him,” Izzy said, “I knew he would never hurt me,”

“Then it was actually Raphael who went off on him,” Max told him, “conveniently right after Izzy stepped in front of me,”

“I would’ve,” Maryse interrupted, “but I was just so in shock that the man I married had become…”

“Mom, please, don’t worry about it,” Alec assured her, “I don’t blame you for anything about him,”

“Raphael detailed some of the resources at his and Magnus’ disposal and what could potentially happen to him if he didn’t leave immediately,” Max explained, “then security fired a warning shot at his feet and he ran,” 

“You’re all okay?” Alec asked when Max finished. 

“Are you okay?” Maryse shot back. 

“I’ll be fine, as long as you guys are okay,” Alec replied. 

“We’re all a little shaken, but we’re fine,” Max assured him. 

“Right,” Alec bit his lip, “excuse me, I think I should go,” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stick around a little longer?” Maryse asked. 

“No, I really just want to go home,” Alec said, standing, “I promise, I’ll be fine,” 

His family nodded as they let him go, all hugging him and promising him that he was going to be okay. He just nodded along, too numb to object. He knew they were leaving out details, particularly whatever Robert had said about him and to them. He could only assume that Robert hadn’t brought up what he’d done when Alec was a kid because they would’ve brought it up. 

+++

“How was your dinner, darling?” Magnus asked, reading through his emails on the couch only dressed in his sweatpants when Alec came back up the elevator. 

“Terrible,” Alec said, dropping his keys on the dining room table and throwing his coat over one of the chairs, “I need a drink,”

“That bad, huh?” Magnus asked, placing his laptop on the coffee table before going to the bar cart and pouring drinks for him and his husband. 

“Way worse than we could’ve imagined,” Alec said seriously before plopping onto the couch. 

“What happened?” Magnus asked as he made his way back over to the couch and handed Alec a drink, which he drank in two sips. Magnus’ eyes widened as Alec handed him back and empty glass. He only handed Alec his own before going to refill the empty glass in his hand. 

“Robert showed up at our wedding,” Alec said softly after Magnus sat down next to him, “and he had a gun,” 

“What?” Magnus nearly dropped his drink on the ground as he digested what Alec had just said, “what?!”

“I know,” Alec nodded slowly, taking another sip as all the emotions he had disguised as anger with his family came pouring out. He burst into tears and began sobbing. Magnus put both their drinks down before pulling his husband as close to him as possible. 

“He was gonna kill me!” Alec cried and Magnus’ heart broke. He sounded so scared and a few tears fell from Magnus’ eyes as well. 

“I don’t wanna die!” Alec yelled as he continued to sob in his arms. Tears silently flowed down Magnus’ face as he did the only thing he could do, which was hold his husband as he cried. Slowly, he calmed down enough that he began to regulate his breathing to try and stop crying. 

“That’s it, darling, take deep breaths,” Magnus said, coaxing him through it. He made a point to breath exaggeratingly loud so that Alec could copy his breathing. 

“Better?” Magnus asked as Alec’s breathing calm. He felt Alec nod against him and Magnus pulled away slightly, just enough to wipe away the tears from his husband’s face. 

“Do you want to tell me the details tonight or do you want to wait?” Magnus asked. 

“Give me a second and I’ll tell you,” Alec said, his voice hoarse from crying. 

“Take your time, darling,” Magnus said, pulling him close again and running a hand through his hair. Alec melted into the touch, his body relaxing against his husband’s. Slowly, with his head settled in Magnus’ lap, Alec began to recount what his family had told him earlier. He ran his hands through Alec’s hair and occasionally wiped away the tears that spilled from his eyes. 

Magnus had wanted to see great harm come to Robert Lightwood for a while now, even before Alec had told him about the abuse. The man had always been an asshole from what Magnus had heard of him, and from employees of his company. If anyone asked Magnus he would refuse that he had ever inquired about Alec’s father, even though it had been early on and their relationship and Magnus had later told Alec what he’d done. Now, Magnus was ready to cause the man great harm himself. He had showed up to their wedding with the intention of killing his husband and possibly him too. 

“What aren’t you saying?” Alec asked suddenly, pulling Magnus away from his thoughts. 

“What?” Magnus played dumb. 

“You’re seething, babe,” a small smile played at Alec’s lips, “don’t think I can’t tell,”

Magnus sighed, “I’m just thinking of a variety of creative ways I can kill him,”

“Better not do it without me,” Alec replied. 

“They’re working on a restraining order?” Magnus asked. 

“Yeah,” Alec said, “I think your name is on it but I’ll make sure,”

“How long have they been working on it?” Magnus ran his thumb over Alec’s cheek, taking a stray tear with it. 

“I don’t know,” Alec looked his husband in the eye, “I didn’t stick around to inquire about the specifics,”

“Might be useful to find those out,” Magnus remarked. 

“Not tonight though,” Alec rolled so he was laying on his side with his head facing Magnus. 

“No, not tonight,” Magnus said, running his hands through Alec’s hair, “I think I might hire some people to try and hunt him down,”

“To kill him?!” Alec sat up, suddenly panicked. As much as he liked to think of Robert getting what was coming to him, he didn’t want him or his husband involved in the process. 

“No! No no no,” Magnus said quickly, “just so we know where he is. So we can keep an eye on him,” 

“I’m gonna get him fucking arrested if he ever shows his face here,” Alec grumbled, sitting up now he leaned against Magnus’ side. 

“Given his position and notoriety around here I don’t think that’ll happen for just drawing a gun on someone,” Magnus sighed, “but I still want to make sure we know where he is,”

“I agree,” Alec cuddled into him. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, “can we go to bed now?”

“Of course, darling,” Magnus said softly, kissing Alec’s temple before helping him to his feet. Alec leaned on him as they made their way to their room and Magnus held them up. Magnus undressed him gently before getting him into a pair of sweatpants and depositing him on the bed. Magnus joined him soon after and pulled Alec into him, holding him while they both fell asleep. 

***

_Five_

Alec was depressed. 

Technically, that was nothing new to him. He’d been depressed since middle school, or at least, that’s what the college assigned therapist told him when he met with her his freshmen year. He knew something was off with him emotionally at a pretty young age, but his parents always refused to let him see a therapist, seeing it as a weakness. When he’d finally gotten to college, he was able to see a therapist without his parents knowledge and that was when he’d had his suspicions confirmed. 

The therapist then had recommended he go see a psychiatrist to inquire about medication, but still on his parents insurance plan he didn’t want them to find out, so he never went. Though it had been a rough road for a lot of the time, he had made it through college and then his life had started to get better. He didn’t really see a need for a psychiatrist or for medication because he really hadn’t been overly depressed. He wasn’t in as bad a spot as he’d been in in high school and college. 

Until now. 

Not working was taking a huge toll on him. It’d been a year since he left work and he realized not too long after that the reason he hadn’t been so upset was because of his job. It kept him busy, he loved his kids, and it gave him things to do throughout his day. 

Now his day was always the same. Get up, go for a run, come back, make him and Magnus breakfast before he left. If Magnus had an early morning, he’d make Magnus breakfast before his run then come back and eat alone. Then he’d watch TV, read, work on whatever hobby he was currently trying to keep himself from rotting. Right now he was trying his hand at needlepoint and he usually only wanted to stab the needle into his eye. He’d make himself lunch, either take a nap or work out more before showering and making dinner for him and Magnus, or sometimes just him if Magnus was going out with people from work. Then Magnus would come home, they’d eat or just cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or something else or just talk, then they’d have sex and go to bed. 

Alec loved Magnus will all his heart and wouldn’t change a thing about his life but he couldn’t take it anymore. 

The thing about his wonderful husband is that he knew something was up with him and he was the one to bring it up one evening. 

“Alexander, darling, can we talk?” Magnus asked suddenly while they were watching a movie. It was one they’d both seen before that was playing back on TV so neither of them were overly engrossed in it. 

“Sure,” Alec said, reaching for the remote and muting the TV, “what’s up?”

“How have you been, darling?” Magnus asked, taking Alec’s hands and looking at him, “you’ve seemed...off,” 

Alec only sighed. Him and Magnus had been together for five years. They’d talked about Alec’s depression in the past so he knew there wasn’t anything he should be ashamed of but even with Magnus he was still hesitant to talk about his feelings sometimes. But when Magnus had asked, he’d been unable to hold back his tears, they just began flowing. 

“Oh, darling,” Magnus sighed and hugged him. Alec fell into his arms as he cried silently. There was nearly a year’s worth of emotions pouring out of him. Before their wedding and honeymoon, he’d been so distracted by the upcoming festivities to be focused on how truly empty he felt, but now in the three months that they’d been home from their honeymoon he felt meaningless. 

“Please talk to me, Alexander,” Magnus said softly when Alec’s tears had subsided. A few tears still slipped from his eyes, but almost unconsciously so. 

Alec took a breath in, “I will, but I need you to understand something first,”

“Okay,” Magnus said, “what is it?”

“Nothing that I’m about to say is your fault,” Alec said, knowing Magnus would blame himself for Alec’s slump, “I made the choices that I made and I do not regret them. You understand me?”

“Yes,” Magnus said assuredly, “please talk to me,”

Alec sighed, “I’ve been really depressed since we got back from Bali,”

Alec looked up at Magnus for a reaction, only seeing his husband give a slight acknowledging nod. 

“And I’ve pretty much pinpointed that it’s because I haven’t been working,” Alec continued, “I felt like this before the wedding but I was too distracted and excited to focus on it too much. Since we’ve been back, I’ve felt like I, I just don’t have a purpose anymore. The only thing I do that feels actually meaningful is cooking for you and then having sex with you and as much as I love that, it’s that’s not very fulfilling,”

Alec looked at Magnus again, waiting for a change in his facial expression but he kept the same face. A supportive look that also spoke volume about his love for him. He looked at him with all the love and adoration available in the world and that thought alone was enough to let a few more tears escape from Alec’s eyes. 

“And when I was teaching, I felt like I was really doing something!” Alec threw his hands up as if to show how big an impact he had, “as cheesy as it sounds, I was molding young minds. I was helping them grow up and for the ones who I know didn’t have good home lives, I was a source of affection for them and I just...I felt useful and like my life has purpose. Now it feels like my only purpose is being a goddamn housewife,” 

Alec spun so his head was buried against Magnus’ shoulder, not wanting to see the expression on his husband’s face. A choked sob escaped his throat as a few more tears fell from his eyes. 

“Alexander, darling,” Magnus said softly, pulling Alec off his shoulder and making him face him, “everything you’re saying is completely valid. In fact, I was expecting and dreading that this would happen?”

“You were?” Alec asked softly. 

“I was,” Magnus nodded, “I know you, darling. I love you and I know how much you love your job. I had a feeling you would slump at some point after you left,”

“I’m sorry,” Alec said softly. 

“No, don’t you dare apologize,” Magnus replied, pulling him in to hug him, “We’re going to fix this,”

“How?” Alec mumbled against his shoulder. 

“First, you’re going to start seeing a psychiatrist,” Magnus said. Alec went to object, but Magnus held up a finger, “I’m going to start going too. It could really help us both, so we’re going to start researching, okay?”

“Okay,” Alec nodded. 

“And I think I might have an idea of something that could give you purpose,” Magnus said. 

“What?” Alec asked, a little hopeful of whatever Magnus might say. 

“How’d you like to run a nonprofit?” Magnus asked. 

“Did you start a nonprofit?” Alec’s eyes widened, wondering how he hadn’t noticed. 

“No, not yet anyway,” Magnus replied, “I’ve been wanting to put money into charity for a while now I’ve just always been skeptical of large scale organizations,” 

“That makes sense,” Alec nodded. 

“So is that something you think you might be interested in?” Magnus asked, “if not, I completely understand, we can find something else-”

“I want to work with kids,” Alec said quickly, “especially kids who, um, who are in households like mine,” 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, darling,” Magnus smiled before pressing a kiss to his husband’s lips, trying to put as much love into the kiss as he possibly could. 

“I love you,” Alec said when they broke apart.

“I love you too,” Magnus said with a smile before kissing him again. 

***

_Six_

“Max, Maxie! Look at papa,” Magnus said, trying to get his child’s attention. When he looked back towards him, Magnus lifted the spoon with his baby food and moved it towards his mouth. He opened and Magnus fed him, scooping some of the food that had fallen out of his mouth. Alec smiled at his husband as he fed they’re nine month old child. 

As Magnus went to feed him again he opened his mouth and let out a loud cough that seemed unnatural coming from the small child. 

“He’s been coughing like that all day,” Alec said. 

“Should we be concerned about that?” Magnus asked, looking over at Alec.

“I don’t think so,” Alec replied, “I called my mom earlier and she listened to him. She said he just might’ve picked something up from one of those baby play groups,” 

“That makes sense,” Magnus replied before continuing to feed him. 

“Want me to finish up so you can eat?” Alec asked, having finished his own dinner and seeing Magnus hadn’t touched his. 

“Sure,” Magnus said, handing off the jar of food and the spoon to Alec. They switched seats, Magnus taking his plate of food with him and pecking Alec’s lips as they walked past each other. 

“Hi Maxie!” Alec smiled as he sat down in front of his son. Max’s face lit up at the sight of his daddy before he coughed again. 

“You sure he’s going to be okay?” Magnus asked. 

“It isn’t that much worse than it was this morning,” Alec replied, smiling at Max before giving him another spoonful of food. Magnus nodded before eating his own dinner. When they finished, Alec cleaned Max while Magnus cleaned the table and did the dishes. Then they moved into the living room and put Max on a blanket on the floor with some of his toys. Alec and Magnus sat on either side of him while they let the TV play absentmindedly behind them. Max smiled as both his fathers played with him, cooing at them as he tried to form words. He had yet to be successful, but both Alec and Magnus were eagerly anticipating when he’d first speak. 

Unfortunately, his coughing became more frequent as the night went on. Alec and Magnus would exchange a worried look each time he coughed as they were getting more violent. 

“Maybe we should give him a bath?” Magnus suggested, “it might clear his airways a bit,”

“Can’t hurt,” Alec replied, picking Max up and heading towards the bathroom. Magnus quickly picked the toys up from the floor and put them back in the bin in the corner, knowing if he left them they’d certainly trip over them the following morning. He soon joined Alec in the bathroom, who had the tub filled halfway and was currently cleaning Max up before putting him in the bath. He continued coughing as he was laid down on the bathroom counter. 

“Maybe you should take him to the doctor tomorrow,” Magnus suggested, looking down at their child whose face was slightly red from the loud and rough coughing. 

“I was just thinking that,” Alec replied, disposing of the wipes before picking Max up and placing him in the tub. He splashed about a little bit before grabbing one of the toys that Alec had placed in the tub for him. Alec rolled up his sleeves and kneeled in front of the tub as he began slowly rinsing the warm water over Max’s upper body and hair. Magnus sat down on the toilet behind him, a hand resting on Alec’s shoulder. 

The next time Max coughed he wheezed a bit. 

“Okay, that concerns me,” Magnus said. Before long Max coughed again, wheezing slightly more this time. 

“Go get my phone and call my mother,” Alec said. Magnus was quick to oblige, leaving the bathroom and grabbing Alec’s phone, which was charging next to the bed. Magnus unlocked it and quickly called Maryse. 

“Hello,” Maryse said. 

“Maryse, hi,” Magnus said quickly. 

“Hi Magnus,” Maryse replied, “is everything okay?”

“We’re not sure,” Magnus said, walking back into the bathroom, putting the phone on speaker as he did. 

“Hi mom,” Alec said and just as she did, Max coughed again and began wheezing more. 

“Oh dear,” Maryse said, “how long has he been coughing like that?”

“He just started the wheezing,” Alec replied, “but the cough has been getting worse all day,” 

“What is he doing now?” Maryse asked, “anything he hasn’t been doing all day?”

“We’ve got him in the bath,” Magnus replied. 

“Okay, if he’s still wheezing like that a half hour after you take him out, take him to the emergency room,” Maryse instructed.

“Is he going to be okay?” Magnus asked quickly, a bit of fear showing on his face. 

“He should be,” Maryse replied, “let me know if you boys need anything,”

“Okay,” Alec said, “thanks mom,”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, “love you guys,”

“Love you too,” Alec and Magnus both replied before Magnus hung up. Alec quickly finished giving him his bath before taking him out and wrapping him in a towel. He coughed as they carried him to his bedroom. When they laid him out on the changing table to get him dressed, his eyelids began to droop. 

“Should we put him to bed?” Alec asked, looking over his shoulder at Magnus as he put a diaper on him. 

“I mean, if he’s tired we shouldn’t keep him awake,” Magnus replied, “maybe the sleep will help,”

“I’m not leaving this room though,” Alec said, going and getting a onesie from the drawer. 

“Oh, me either,” Magnus replied. Alec pressed a kiss to his cheek before maneuvering their very sleepy child into his pajamas. Alec picked him up and kissed his forehead and Magnus kissed his cheek before they laid him down in his crib. Then they both went and took a seat on the small couch they had put in the room. 

“I’m gonna get me laptop,” Alec said, standing, “I’ve got some emails to answer,”

“Okay,” Magnus replied. Alec left the room and Magnus stared only at the crib and at the steady rise and fall of Max’s chest. It was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment, the fact that their child was still breathing. Alec returned and Magnus cuddled into his husband’s side. Max occasionally let out little coughs as he slept, catching both of his fathers’ attention, but nothing compared to the wheezing and powerful coughs they had heard earlier. 

Soon they both drifted off to sleep on the small couch. Magnus had been the first to fall asleep, leaning on Alec’s shoulder, his body slightly twisted. Alec knew if they fell asleep here their backs were going to be a mess tomorrow, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Max’s room. Alec kept his eyes on the small boy in the crib before he too fell asleep. 

+++

They were woken up by a strong cough that they still couldn’t believe was coming from their small boy. The cough was persistent and came with wheezing. Magnus was the first one off the couch, practically running over to the crib to pick up Max. As he lifted him out of the crib, his chest was contracting wildly as he coughed loudly and tried to bring in enough air to continue coughing. 

“Alexander!” Magnus said urgently, as if Max’s violent coughing hadn’t already gotten his attention. 

“We’re taking him to the emergency room,” Alec said quickly. 

“Come on Maxie, take deep breaths,” Magnus said, rocking him as if the child knew what he was asking him to do. 

“Take the elevator, get him in the car,” Alec said, “I’ll get us shoes and coats and meet you down there,”

“Okay,” Magnus moved quickly, grabbing a blanket from the crib for Max, knowing he was going to get cold in the winter air outside. Magnus was frantic, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he grabbed the car keys and carried Max into the elevator. 

“Come on Maxie, keep breathing for me,” Magnus said, patting his child’s back lightly, hoping that might help him cough up whatever he was trying to cough up. Finally he gagged and the coughing subsided and he began taking in wheezing breaths. 

“Good boy, Max,” Magnus let out a sigh of relief and wiped the tears that had begun to gather in his eyes. His breathing didn’t sound great, but at least he was breathing. Magnus wrapped the blanket around Max’s shoulders best he could as they exited the elevator. The sheer terror and adrenaline he was running off of was astounding. He cradled Max in his arms like the most precious thing in the world, praying to whatever god there was to keep their child alive. 

Meanwhile, Alec’s hands were visibly shaking as he slipped on his own shoes and coat and grabbed Magnus’. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and went running for the elevator. When the door didn’t immediately open, he turned and ran at the front door, not willing to wait for it to get all the way back up to the penthouse. He tried to keep the tears from coming to his eyes but he couldn’t. The coughing and wheezing and the fear that had been on little Max’s faces had truly shaken him, and he could only pray that he would be okay. 

He took the stairway down to the parking garage, not wanting to wait in the elevator. With the way he ran down the stairs, he assumed it probably would’ve taken the same amount of time, but he was in control on the stairs. He practically jumped down each flight of stairs, putting all his daily exercise to good use. That and the adrenaline and fear that ran through his veins. 

He burst through the door into the garage and saw their car running with Magnus standing outside, bucking Max’s into his car seat. 

“Is he in?” Alec asked as he ran up. 

“Just about,” Magnus said, clipping in one last buckle before jumping in the backseat. Alec tossed him his shoes and coat before jumping in the front seat. He quickly backed out and exited the garage. 

“Wait, what time is it?” Alec asked, not knowing how long they’d slept after they put Max to bed. 

“Um,” Magnus dug around in his pocket for his phone, “a little after 2 am,” 

“Okay, just text my mother than,” Alec said, still pulling in deep breaths. Just as Magnus began to text, Max began coughing again, the same wheezing cough that had woken them up. He dropped the phone on the seat of the car, not bothering to finish the text. 

“Oh, please breath, Max,” Magnus begged, his voice broken, and that broke Alec. He let out a small gasp as tears fell from his eyes. He looked in the rearview as his husband looked helplessly over Max’s car seat, not knowing what to do. Alec drove faster than he’d ever driven in his life, not bothering to stop, only beeping at anything and anyone that got in his way. 

Max was still coughing and wheezing when they arrived at the hospital. Their only comfort was that he was still coughing so he was taking in enough air to do that, though it wasn’t staying in his lungs very long. There were tears gathered in the corners of his little eyes and Magnus got him out of his carseat and wrapped the blanket around him, covering his face. They’d taken care to make sure no one saw Max’s face, wanting to keep his son’s privacy. Alec locked the car and quickly ushered them into the emergency room. 

As they walked in, a few people gasped, one woman shrieked as they recognized Magnus, but both Alec and Magnus ignored them as their child was still coughing in their arms. 

“We need help, please,” Magnus said to the nurse at the station. She made a call and quickly nurses came out from ER. 

“What’s going on?” one of them asked as she lifted Max from Magnus’ arms, laying him down on the large bed they had rolled out with them. 

“He’s been coughing all day,” Alec explained frantically, “then he just started wheezing like that,”

“How long has he been wheezing?” she asked, as other nurses began to wheel him into the back. 

“No!” Magnus tried to push past her but she held him back. 

“Sir, you can’t go back there, it’s unsafe,” she said.

“That is my child!” Magnus yelled. 

“Please trust that we will take care of him,” she insisted, “how long has he been wheezing?”

“He started maybe a half hour ago,” Alec said, grabbing Magnus by the hand and pulling him close, “then he stopped for a bit, then he picked back up again,”

“Okay, thank you,” she said, “what’s his name?”

“Max,” Alec breathed out, still holding tight to his husband. 

“Okay,” she said, “they’ll get you set with the paperwork here and we’ll let you know when there’s news,” 

And with those words she disappeared. Magnus exhaled and Alec pulled him into his arms as he began crying. Alec let a few tears escape as well while trying to death glare the people staring at them in the waiting room. 

“Mr. Lightwood-Bane?” a voice said from behind them. Alec let go of Magnus and they both turned to face the nurse behind them, “would you like to wait somewhere more private?”

“Yes please,” Alec said when Magnus proved unable to answer.

“Follow me, please,” he said. Magnus took Alec’s hand in a death grip and followed the nurse down another hallway and into an empty office, “I’m sorry we can’t offer you something more comfortable,”

“This is perfect, thank you,” Alec said. 

“Of course, sir,” he smiled before handing him the clipboard in his hand, “if you could please just fill out the information on these forms and if you press that button next to the computer I’ll come back and get them,”

“Thank you very much…” Alec trailed off, clearly looking for the man’s name. 

“Darron,” he smiled. 

“Thank you, Darron,” Alec smiled. Darron smiled and shut the door as he left. Alec sat down in one of the chairs and Magnus sat in the one next to him. He began filling out the papers in silence with Magnus leaning on his shoulder. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Magnus asked suddenly. 

“Yes,” Alec said confidently, but then his voice wavered, “he has to be,” 

“What if he’s not?” Magnus asked softly and Alec felt a tear fall into his shoulder. 

“He will be,” Alec said, wiping his own tears from his eyes before putting the pen down wrapping his arms fully around Magnus. They both cried, from fear more than anything else. Alec couldn’t remember the last time they’d cried together like this over anything other than a particularly emotional film. 

“Magnus, babe, I gotta finish the papers,” Alec said softly when his crying had subsided slightly. Magnus nodded, releasing him enough to finish filling out the papers but still kept himself wrapped around Alec’s waist. Alec finished filling out the papers as quickly as he could then pressed the button and Darron was back in the room. 

“Here you go,” Alec said, trying to keep his voice steady. 

“Thank you,” Darron said, taking in the sight of the two of them before he sighed, “I never like to promise anything, but from what I heard of Max’s cough, it sounded like croup to me,”

“What’s croup?” Magnus asked, now attentively looking at him. 

“It’s an upper respiratory infection,” Darron replied, “it’s fairly common in young kids. This isn’t a diagnosis but because you caught it so early, if it is croup, he should just need to stay on a breathing treatment and he should be okay,”

“Thank you,” Alec smiled at him. 

“Again, I’m not sure,” he said quickly, “and I really shouldn’t have said anything but I couldn’t help it, I’m sorry,”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alec said softly, “we won’t be upset if you were wrong. We just appreciate the information,” 

“Of course, sir,” Darron replied, “I’ll leave you be,”

Alec nodded and he left the room. 

“Okay, we can deal with that, right?” Magnus asked after he left the room.

“I think so,” Alec replied, “Izzy got croup a lot as a kid and she’s fine,”

“A lot?” Magnus asked, “you mean this isn’t a one and done thing?! We might have to hear him cough like that again?!”

“Well, now we know how it starts, so hopefully it won’t get to that point,” Alec said back, silently cursing himself for not bringing him soon. He had thought about it earlier in the evening when the coughing had gotten more intense that maybe they should at least call the pediatrician’s office, but he hadn’t. 

“We couldn’t have known it was going to become this,” Magnus said, clearly seeing the gears turning in Alec’s head, “don’t blame yourself for not bringing him earlier,”

“But if he doesn’t-”

“He will,” Magnus said, seeing that he now had to be the one reassuring the other, “he’s going to be just fine,” 

“Yeah. He’s going to be fine,” Alec nodded, trying to assure himself more than anyone else. 

“Get some sleep, darling,” Magnus said. 

“That’s funny, Magnus,” Alec deadpanned. 

“I know that, but I could at least try,” Magnus replied. They sat together in silence, occasionally having to wipe away the stray tears that would fall from their eyes. They lost track of time as they sat in silence, not knowing what they could say to each other. 

Then there was a knock on the door. 

They both shot up off their chairs and nearly pushed each other over to get to the door. They threw it open, shocking the nurse who stood on the other side, who was the same nurse who had taken Max back early. 

“Is he okay?” Alec asked quickly. 

“He’s going to be fine,” she assured them. They both sighed in relief and Magnus laughed a bit before wrapping his arms tightly around Alec and burying his head in his shoulder, a few tears escaping his eyes. Alec sniffled and wiped his own tears. 

“He has croup,” she continued, “which is an infection in the upper respiratory tract fairly common in children. We’re want to keep him for at least twenty-four hours to monitor his breathing, but he should be okay,”

“Can we see him?” Magnus asked. 

“Of course, sir, please follow me,” she began leading them down the hall, “please be aware that we sedated him so we could keep him calm and x-ray his chest. He is also hooked to a machine to assist his breathing,”

They both nodded as she led them through another door into the pediatric wing. She led them through another waiting room and back into a room. In the room, Max was laying in a bed that was entirely too large for him, making him seem even smaller. The blanket they had him wrapped in when he came in was folded neatly at the end of the bed and he wasn’t covering in anything. There were stickies on his chest monitoring his heart and a mask over his face helping his breathing. 

Magnus and Alec quickly went over to his bedside, ignoring the nurse who had brought them and the doctor standing near the bed. A few tears slipped from both their eyes, both relief and sadness, as they looked down at their child hooked up to a variety of different machines.

“Hello,” the doctor said, clearing her throat and extending her hand, “I am Dr. Jenkins,”

“Hi,” Alec said as both of them shook her hand. 

“I’m sure Allison has explained the situation to you,” she said and they both nodded, “it is pretty simple. We just want to monitor him to make sure the illness doesn’t progress. He should wake up in a few hours, but he’ll be lethargic. Once he’s cleared, we’ll send you home with some medicine and you’ll just have to do follow ups with your pediatrician. If you need anything, just press the button next to the bed,”

“Thank you very much, Dr. Jenkins,” Alec smiled. She nodded and left the room and Allison followed. Alec breathed a sigh of relief before dragging two chairs from the corner of the room over to the bedside. 

“I’m going to text my family,” Alec said, pulling out his phone and seeing it was nearly four in the morning, “maybe you should text Cat,”

“Probably,” Magnus replied, considering Cat was Max’s godmother. They both sent off their texts, telling their families what had happened, that Max was okay, and if they wanted to come visit sometime after the sun came up they were more than welcomed to. 

They didn’t get a reply until a little after six am, when Jace had gotten up for his morning run, saying that he and Clary would bring them over some breakfast after she woke up. Alec thanked his lucky stars for how amazing his family was. He was also grateful it was Saturday and none of them had any responsibilities to attend to. 

Maryse was next to reply an hour later, saying she was on her way over immediately. Then Cat followed, saying her and Madzie would be over as soon as possible. Izzy and Simon were not far behind. Max, ever the sleeper, was the last to reply around nine when the rest of their family had already arrived, saying he and Kai would be over as soon as possible. 

Jace and Clary had brought everyone breakfast which they all ate relatively silently until Max and Kai walked into the room hand in hand.

“Oh, look who decided to show up,” Alec teased. 

“You look terrible,” Max replied. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, my baby only woke me up coughing so hard he could barely breathe,” Alec shot back. 

“Shit, really?” Max asked, eyes wide. 

“Yeah,” Alec nodded. 

“Geez man, I’m sorry,” Max looked over at his godson who shared his name, “he’s gonna be okay, right?”

As if on cue, Max began crying. Alec and Magnus were quickly over at their son’s bedside. His eyes were wet and wide with fear but his crying stopped when he saw his fathers standing over him. 

“Hey Maxie,” Alec smiled, giving Max his finger when he raised his hands up to reach for them. He wanted to pick him up but were unsure if they should. 

“Hi baby,” Magnus smiled and tickled his son’s chest, causing him to giggle them cough. The cough wasn’t nearly as aggressive as it was the day before and he hadn’t started wheezing along with it. 

“Should we call the nurse?” Alec asked. 

“Probably,” Magnus said, reaching over and pressing the button. Less than a minute later, Allison entered the room and jumped slightly at how many people were there before walking over to the bedside. 

“What’s the matter?” she asked. 

“He just woke up,” Alec replied, “we didn’t really know what to do,”

“Right, of course,” she said before turning to the rest of the room, “can I please ask that everyone but the fathers exit the room please?”

Everyone mumbled in agreement and began making their way out towards the waiting room. Maryse came over and hugged them both before she finally exited the room. Allison grabbed a clipboard from the end of the bed and began writing down his vitals as she spoke. 

“Has he cough since he woke up?” she asked. 

“He woke up crying,” Magnus replied, “then he laughed a little and that caused him to cough,”

“No wheezing?” she followed up. 

“No, and the cough wasn’t nearly as aggressive as it was yesterday,” Alec told her. She nodded and wrote that down before setting the clipboard down. 

“Since he’s had the breathing mask on since he’s been here I’m going to take it off of him just to see how he does without it,” she said, reaching for the mask. Max immediately began crying as the strange woman reached for him. 

“Shh, Maxie, you’re okay,” Alec said softly, swinging the hand that held his finger slightly, trying to keep his attention. He still whimpered and cried as she removed the mask but he seemed instantly happier now that it was off his face. Alec and Magnus were just happy to see their baby’s face. 

“Dada,” Max said as he reached both arms up towards Alec and Magnus, clearly wanting to be picked up. 

“Did he just…?” Alec looked at his husband with tears gathering in his eyes. 

“He did,” Magnus smiled at him, gripping his arm excitedly. 

“Is that the first time he’s spoken?” Allison asked. 

“Yes,” Alec choked out, trying very hard to keep himself from crying.

“You can pick him up, it won’t hurt him,” she said, “just make sure the monitors stay on his chest,” 

Alec nodded, quickly leaning down and picking him up, “daddy’s got you, big guy,”

“Do you need anything else?” she inquired. 

“No, I think we’re good,” Magnus smiled as Alec bounced with Max in his arms. 

“Do you want me to get your family?” she asked as she made her way towards the door. 

“No, thank you though,” Magnus replied. She smiled and waved before she left, “let’s sit, darling,” 

Alec nodded, carefully sitting down on the bed with Max in his arms before sliding back so he was leaning against the wall. Magnus climbed onto the bed next to him and rested his head on Alec’s shoulders, letting Max grab his finger in his tiny hand as Alec held him. Occasionally Max would cough, but it was not nearly as alarming as the day before, the breathing treatment had clearly done wonders. They lost track of time like this, trapped happily in their own family bubble, just glad to all still be together.

**Author's Note:**

> I really did not expect part 6 to be as long as it was, but then that happened. I know croup is super common with kids and usually isn't that bad, but my little sister got it enough as a kid and I remember hearing her coughing and gasping for breath (if you haven't heard it it's a really scary sounding cough) and even though I was only 5 or 6 I can still remember it and I was terrified she was going to die every time my parents took her to the hospital. She was always fine but I always remember being terrified and figure that was a perfect, non-life threatening but still scary situation to put baby Max in.  
> Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed and I will see you in the next story!


End file.
